Like Father, like father
Psalm 103:7-14
Fathers get a bad press in modern Britain. Feminists don’t think we need fathers; medical technology can (almost) make you redundant. When things go well you are hardly ever at home because chances are you are the major breadwinner, when things go badly it’s all your fault.
So who needs fathers today?
I was sitting in the café of our local supermarket on Friday evening reading the paper while my mam did her shopping. A young man and his son arrived and took their seats on the table opposite me – the guy was in his thirties and his son was about six or seven. They each had an enormous plate of sausage, egg, beans and chips. I watched the boy with fascination as he sat down and put his plate on the table; he sat and actually chortled out loud with glee, he was rubbing his hands with excitement. It was only sausage and chips, but the kid was in seventh heaven because he was out with his dad.
That kid needed his dad. Kids need dads, it is as simple as that – and if a kid looses his dad he or she needs someone else to step in and do the job; maybe a granddad, maybe an uncle.
But what does a good dad look like?
A portrait of The Father – Psalm 103:7-11
David was excited that God had chosen to reveal himself to his people – if God had kept out of sight we would not know anything about him, but the author of the drama of creation and history has stepped out onto the stage to receive the applause of his people. One of those times when he stepped out onto the stage was in the life of Moses (7).
God’s people were slaves in Egypt and he rescued them. He punished their oppressors with plagues until they let Israel go and when they changed their mind he protected his people from the Egyptian army. He led them over the Red Sea, into the desert when he fed them and guided them. David sings about the things we know about God through the Exodus story.
He is amazingly generous and patient with us (8-10)
It is so hard to make God angry; he never bears a grudge (11-12)
This Father knows our limitations and he works within them (13-14)
David, the songwriter, has been thinking about this God that he loves and it is as though he is sitting down and rubbing his hands with glee as he writes about God’s character – just like the little lad in the café – “My dad is a brilliant dad, he is saying”
This is the great thing about being a father – you may feel insignificant to the world but a dad gets to be at least one persons hero (at least, until the little perishers reach their teens - then you become public enemy number one!) And if you are only a bit like this Father then you will be an even bigger hero in the eyes of your kids.
What would that look like in your life or mine?
Like Father, like father
Well if The Father is compassionate and gracious (8) then we ought to learn to have a compassionate heart and a generous spirit.
It is your job to teach your kids how to live, to help to shape the values that get bedded down deep inside them. But they are going to make mistakes. When they do it is your job to understand them and to support them and to be there for them. Whatever happens my kids will only ever experience compassion from me, because that is what the Father is like.
And it is your job to haemorrhage money! So work on that generous spirit!
If it is hard to make the Father angry and he never bears a grudge, then we ought to be the same – never drag up old failures.
This is a struggle for me, because I have a plan; a plan to get revenge. When my son was born he had an almost supernatural ability to do with out sleep. I don’t think he slept at all for the first two years of his life – he must have done, I just don’t remember when he did. Night after night walking the flat with Jonny in my arms trying to get him to sleep I grew more and more resentful. So in those early hours I hatched a plan; a plan to get revenge.
When I am old and grey I am going to set the alarm to go off at two in the morning – every morning – when I wake up I am going to ‘phone my son. When he answers I will say, “Hello Jonny, it’s your old dad here, do you love me Jonny? I’m bored Jonny, will you tell me a story?” I am going to get revenge!
The Bible says that this is not a good idea. A good dad does not dredge up the past.
The Father knows our imitations and works within them, so a father needs to understand his kids and never expect too much from them. This is so hard today because we have become addicted to getting our kids to chase targets and performance indicators just like the ones we use at work to rate our progress. We love to see our kids get ahead a school and stay there.
When my children were three they started at a local nursery school for a couple of mornings a week. It was a nice place and the staff were very friendly and we were amazed at how quickly they got our kids to read. Each week we would look at the record chart of their progress and be staggered at how fast then picked up reading. Our kids were streets ahead of the rest. There was only one problem – for some reason they could not read the books at home that they could at school. They would sit on my knee and hold the book, but they could not read it.
There was only one explanation, they were being lazy! So I got quite frustrated that my kids would read for the teacher but not for me. Then the penny dropped – my kids were not being lazy, the school were being dishonest! They were exaggerating the children’s progress to make them look good.
If you are a dad, whatever else you study you need to study your children – make time to understand them. Do not expect more than they can reasonably deliver; God doesn’t and we shouldn’t.
Haltwhistle
When I was about six of seven my dad took me to Haltwhistle on the train. He was a car salesman and he had to pick up a car and bring it back to Sunderland. We got the train to Newcastle, had something to eat in the station and caught the next train to for Carlisle and hopped off at Haltwhistle. I remember holding his hand as we walked up the road from the station. We picked up the car and drove back to Sunderland.
We didn’t go to a theme park, visit a zoo or go skydiving; we just spent the day together. Yet that day is permanently written on my memory – because I got to spend the whole day with my hero.