Matthew 5:31-32 - Jesus' understanding of divorce
These notes were originally given to cell group leaders the week after we studied this issue on Sunday morning.
Notice the repeated pattern of Jesus’ teaching, “You have heard… but I say…”, throughout Matthew 5 – six times in all.
In no case does Jesus cancel any of God’s commands as given to Moses. In fact, Jesus says that he has no intention of doing so, “I assure you that even the smallest detail of God’s law will remain until its purpose is achieved”. Instead he delves behind the commandment to get at its real meaning.
So the provisions in Deuteronomy 24:1 – which Jesus quotes in verse 31 - remain active. Divorce is an option in certain circumstances.
Jesus is contributing to a wider debate
Jesus is stepping into a discussion that was a hot topic amongst Jewish rabbis, in Matthew 19:1-11 Jesus picks up the subject again more fully in answer to a question, “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for any reason?”
In Jesus day, “For any reason” was a technical term for no-fault divorce. Some rabbis taught that Deuteronomy 24:1 meant that a man could divorce a woman (but not the other way ‘round) for any reason at all if he was unhappy with her. This ‘any-cause-divorce-for-men-only’ teaching was very popular [1] .
Jesus teaching confronted ‘any-cause-divorce-for-men-only’ and sided with the deserted women many of whom would be forced to commit adultery to survive. If her family would not have her back, she would have to re-marry or become destitute. So notice that Jesus says, the man has “forced her to commit adultery” (Matthew 5:32). Unless of course, she has already been unfaithful (verse 32), in which case he has not forced her to do anything.
Jesus was not opposed to divorce in certain circumstances, but he objected to God’s law being used as an excuse to reduce women to beggary.
When is divorce lawful in God’s sight?
The Old Testament is the source of Jesus views on this. Beware of taking a single statement of Jesus and generalising it to cover all circumstances. For example, Matthew 19:9 is not the whole story. For instance, what if a man is beating his wife and kids but not committing adultery, does she stay with him?
Exodus 21:7-11 provides us with important data about what was expected from each partner in a marriage covenant. Unusually, this law gives a woman the right to leave her husband!
This passage imagines a married man who decides to marry a second wife. In this case, his first wife is entitled to expect him to provide her with food, clothing, and to sleep with her. Failure to care for her or make love to her meant that the woman was free to walk away.
The Hebrew marriage covenant therefore included a commitment to four things:
- Personal loyalty (ie not committing adultery – this is what Deuteronomy 24:1 really means)
- To provide food (literally, “meat” implying more than just the necessities)
- To provide clothing
- To have sexual intimacy with each other
These are what make a marriage; failure in any of these areas was to create acceptable grounds for divorce.
Christians rightly deplore quick and easy divorce. But the real problem is not divorce, it is the failure of couples to live together in the way that God intended. The Old Testament law made allowance for our failures and divorce was allowable. Jesus was committed to God’s law – which provided practical rules for living in a sinful world.
What is God’s attitude to the divorced?
Malachi contains the dramatic statement, “I hate divorce! Says the Lord God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). Again it is easy to quote this but miss the reason why… why does God hate divorce?
Malachi makes it clear that he hates it because of the psychological and spiritual damage it does. But there is a deeper reason.
The prophets use marriage as a picture of God’s relationship with Israel, and divorce as a picture of Israel’s unfaithfulness to their Lord (see for example, Jeremiah 3:8). God hates divorce… because he knows what it feels like!
What is God’s attitude so someone who has been, loved, married, and abandoned? He hates divorce, but he doesn’t hate you. He knows how you feel!
Dave Burke - June 2006
Want to study this in greater depth? "What God has Joined together" by David Instone-Brewer of Tyndale House Cambridge is a useful start.
[1] When Joseph considered breaking off his betrothal to Mary, he would have used this law to do it (Matthew 1:19)